Life Maps Mileposts

Conflict Carries a Wholeness Lesson

Tue, 3 Apr 2012 10:44:02 GMT

Recently I've begun to long for summer vacation. I'm guessing that the springtime weather does this to many of us. I find myself daydreaming about getaways like a vacation or my annual Appalachian Trail treks. I think about how much I'd enjoy being outdoors day after day and living with the simplicity of no pressing worries besides today's source of food, water and shelter. How totally relaxing this is for me! But, to be totally honest, when I'm into a "break from the busyness" experience, a "break from reality", I will lapse into a desire to be back home and into my known routine and my comfort zone - you know, all that is familiar and safe about "my groove".

We all do this kind of conflict within ourselves, these feelings and experiences of opposing yearnings. It is a common trait of the human condition that we go through these struggles of opposites - these dualities that are just a part of life and of growth opportunities. Navigating the feelings that come from experiencing these opposing inner forces can be very stressful.

There's the parent that wants to protect the child from any harm or negative life experience, yet the parent wants the child to become a self sufficient adult who can make good choices in a tough world. And there's the employee who wants the job promotion with its challenges and opportunities yet the employee also wants to stay put in the current job and dedicate energy to important family matters.

Holding the tension of these conflicting forces is stressful but it is also helpful in an informative way. We become more whole, more mature, when we let this inner conflict inform us. How can we do this journey and still enjoy our lives?

Talk about the opposing forces - when I talk about my daydreams of vacations and AT treks, I quickly discover that other people have similar "getaway daydreams" that help them cope with daily life stressors. As soon as I share the experience, I find it easier to be whole and embrace the opposities.

Respect the value of each opposing force - Notice that both forces have merit and value of their own. Once you identify this truth, then you will soon see how the opposing forces compliment one another in making a more whole view of self and the world.

Practice noticing the depths of the wholeness - The ways of the self and the ways of the world are complex and have dimensions. To notice this does not mean that you are becoming wishy-washy, in fact quite the opposite. You are growing into appreciating the wholeness and interconnectedness of life. Practice holding the awareness of opposing forces and life becomes much more meaningful in the moment. When I wrestle with longing for home as I'm out on my beloved AT treks, I practice remembering that I deeply love both parts of my life and I try to focus on enjoying the one I'm in at the moment!

Goal Phobia

Fri, 2 Mar 2012 16:50:34 GMT

Eight women completed the Lifestyle Goal Setting Course for Women very recently, just as a new course group of six women began their goal setting journeys. Having these two powerful experiences so close together reminded me of the gripping power of fear that sucks out all hope for a better future.

The alumni group had quite a great party CELEBRATING the newly formed goal directed lifestyle of each member and together overcoming fear and other roadblocks. What an empowering presence those women have, not just collectively as a course group, but as individual women too. The group of "newbies" started out exactly where the previous group began - filled with fear of the unknown future but very determined to not repeat the past. It is an awesome experience to witness how people can overcome fear and create hope and joy in their lives in just a short period of time.

What does it take to overcome Goal Phobia?

Accept that you have the power of choice to change your life.

Don't try to overcome a stuck lifestyle by going at the problem alone. Talk to caring people about your desire to change your lifestyle and ask for advice from those you admire.

Don't be afraid to fail. In fact, expect to have setbacks and be ready to learn from the experience of it. How can you improve your life changing plan by letting this bad experience teach you?

When you see fear coming at you, don't give up and give in! As we say in Texas, "Get back on that horse and ride!"

Personal Goal Setting Course for Women supports and encourages women to find life direction in the midst of awkward life transitions. Women are empowered to take responsibility for their futures. Women learn to freely give encouragement but to also expect loved ones to give encouragement instead of resistance as they construct renewed life direction. Women develop leadership of their lives. Register today at the website for the free consultation.

What Does Your Prosperity Picture Look Like?

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 09:33:54 GMT

This educational evening is an opportunity to learn more about setting realistic financial goals and being able to maintain your goal direction. Since you know that goal setting is important to me, you shouldn't be surprised that I'm encouraging you to take advantage of this opportunity. In my relationships with other professionals, I realized that my female clients often need more education on financial goal setting. This program content is being made available at my request. The presenter, Lisa Kueng, wrote this educational program for women like you and has presented it around the nation.There is a 28 page workbook that accompanies the presentation. I will be attending the event and I'll share a few words about goal setting in your life. Also, there is a evening meal served without cost to you. I hope that you see the value and choose to attend by following the directions below.

Peace be with you, Beth Eden Abel

Life Maps Prosperity is about being successful. Not just with your money, but with your life. This interactive workshop will focus on both, and provide you with actionable tools to create your own personal "Prosperity Picture". You'll leave the workshop with a five step system, chock full of ideas on how to: Create your vision - remind yourself of what's most important in your life and how your money can help you with it. Know Where You Are - take advantage of clear, concise worksheets and tools to review your current financial profile. Design your plan - apply fresh insights and principles to your financial situation - whether you need to finesse an existing financial plan or build a brand new one. Make it happen - set up a strategy that will help turn your plans into reality Enjoy the journey - allow yourself to enjoy the process - this step will focus on ways to do that, as well as on gratitude and giving back. Join us to learn more about how to apply these actionable ideas and innovative tools to your own life and get closer to using your money to help create the future you want for yourself. ___________________________________________________________

Host: Jason Ogden, Invesco

Advisor Name: Bradley Dartez, Edward Jones

Location: Texas Land & Cattle Restaurant

Date/Time: Thursday, February 9, 2012 at 6:30pm

RSVP: Teri Hoyt 512-892-0070

Your Reflections on 2011 Matter

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 16:21:28 GMT

Now is the time to reflect on your experience of 2011, with your eye on learning more about the specific life experiences that bring you passion for living. The greatest and most common barrier in planning a happy future for ourselves is the initial step of knowing the innermost answer to the question - "what makes me energized about daily living?" In my twelve years of conducting goal setting courses, I've found that 95% of the participants know very little about the answer to that question, when the course begins. Most people assume that everyone else has their question answered; and they're the only person that's clueless.

Instead of first focusing on 2012 New Year Resolutions, first do the all important step of reflecting on the past and how assessing your experiences will inform and ground you. Look for positive reflections and write down what specifically gave you experiences of joy, laughter, fulfillment, peace or competency. Notice the negative reflections as well. Look for what specific experiences caused feelings of fear, dread, confusion. This information is valuable once it is translated from the negative to it's opposite - the positive. Write down what the positive experience would be. Hold on to this written reflection activity for a week or so, adding thoughts as they come. By late January, your written reflections will have simmered in your consciousness long enough to become the notations of the passions for living that you seek more of in the new year.

Here's a Nelson Mandela quotation that will inspire your reflections:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.... As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Giving Encouragement - Is that you?

Sun, 4 Dec 2011 16:06:03 GMT

In this season of being thankful, we can rediscover inner peace and strength from a focus on life's positives. It's challenging to maintain a positive life approach; a discipline that takes years of practice, yet it is never mastered. However, steadily looking at "the glass as half full rather than half empty" is a skill that, with just a little habit formation, will improve your lifestyle.

Through practicing the skill of encouraging others, you will quickly formulate the attitude of thankfulness. As the old adage goes, "if you teach it, you will learn it". In this case, if you encourage others, you will develop an attitude of thankfulness.

When we encourage others, the very act requires noticing a positive behavior and then being an enthusiastic and verbal witness to what you've seen. As we express these positive truths that are often overlooked and minimized, a thankful viewpoint about life emerges. The focus of our own world view shifts to a grateful and thankful place that is grounded in specific positive human behavior.

The most common application of this life skill is parenting a child, teen or young adult. Remember, we all, adults included, need a shot of encouragement in daily life. We want encouragement from others, not just from a parent figure.

Here's an analogy that will stick in your memory bank. Giving encouragement is much like attending a loved one's long distance race. We don't just wait at the end of the event, the finish line, giving out judgmental praise that evaluates performance in comparison to other long distance runners. No. Those remarks of praise leave the recipient questioning and comparing one's effort with the performance of others. Though accurate evaluation of performance has its place, it is not nearly as valuable as encouragement. I'll finish the analogy to further explain encouraging others as different from giving praise. When we give encouragement, we're the spectator in someone's life that walks the race path sidelines saying "you can do it, keep it up, way to go, you've got it ..." and so on. The runner is inspired by this approach and the positive energy it creates is contagious. As soon as the words are spoken, we're feeling just as inspired and positive as the one encouraged!

So, make a habit of freely giving encouragement - pass it on! By practicing this life approach, you'll cultivate a thankful and grateful lifestyle.

Do you really want to keep a secret?

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 18:44:35 GMT

All kinds of secret keeping can be harmful to your well being. Everything from secrets about eating habits and hidden debt to telling or concealing a lie create an unstable lifestyle that is most likely deteriorating slowly.

What can you lose by keeping a secret? What can you gain by coming clean?

Here's what you can lose:

By keeping a secret, over the years you become insulated from who you really are. It actually stunts the process of maturation - the ability to be authentically self confident.

When you are keeping secrets, you can only get so close to others before the secret causes you to stop; fearing judgment if someone knows you better. Eventually, your relationships become shallow and therefore unable to meet your needs.

Cloaking important facts about yourself will cause stress at a physical level as well. Chronic stress increases adrenaline and cortisone levels - two hormones which cause inflammation and damage the immune system.

Here's what you can gain by coming clean:

By practicing truthfulness with yourself, you are holding yourself accountable to a clear self image that is validated by others as authentic. You can begin a healing journey that results in a happier and more authentic life just enjoying being yourself.

When you don't keep secrets your relationships become more healthy or you choose to terminate them. If you've carried inappropriate secrets for a loved one and choose to free yourself of this self destructive behavior, you will quickly feel your life burdens are much lighter. You will enjoy being in relationships because you know what healthy relationships feel like.

When you practice a lifestyle that avoids secret keeping, your body's immune system will be more resilient and healthy as a result of this choice.

As a Life Maps coach, I am a qualified professional ready to help you begin this healing journey.

Make your life more fulfilling by seeking a free consultation appointment to address the burden of secret keeping.

NEW! Photos from the AT

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:16:05 GMT

Created with flickr slideshow.