lighted path in the forest
Milepost December 2007

Hope That Floats

 

Recently I was in a holiday blue mood that would not easily budge.  The meaning of the season was not emerging through the over-abundance of fluff and commercialism.
 

After a brief indulgence of self pity, I decided to do something positive. It was time to boost the low mood with actions that would predictably make me happier. After a few hours of intentional acts of joy, I began to catch positive reverberations of my actions. I felt better. For instance, I complimented a stranger on his festive, red shirt and he responded with genuine gratitude and complimented me as well. Instantly I felt more harmony and peace with the world around me. Even though it was a small interaction, numerous similar initiatives in that short time period brought the low mood up. I had re-discovered how to build resilience or Hope That Floats.

Building resilience is a life skill that enhances self esteem. To be able to count on oneself to address daily emotional needs of life is a skill the leads to the buoyancy we seek. And, learning to do something positive is only one of several ways to gain resilience.

Try this one – practice intentional waiting.  Anxiety and the high blood pressure that accompanies it decrease when the mental message is one of “choosing to wait” instead of the mental message of “being forced to wait”. Hope That Floats is easily experienced when a long grocery store checkout line can be turned into an opportunity. Use the time to double check the gift list or watch a child playing in a grocery cart.

And there is another way to be an expert in creating Hope That Floats in your life. Focus the mind on managing your expectations. During the holidays, many of our human interactions at traditional celebrations are laden with good and bad memories of these celebrations in the past.   Those memories become the unconscious expectations of this year’s traditional celebrations, and we expect the human interactions to be recreated too. When we don’t examine our unconscious expectations, the mind is unable to direct a hopeful focus. For instance, take time to be aware of your holiday memories and the associated past human interactions prior to arriving at that family gathering.  This constructive self-awareness exercise fortifies you to be more realistic about this year’s family gatherings. Manage your expectations and you will leave the family gathering feeling resilient.

Hope That Floats or the Life Skill of Resilience is created when you:

  • Intentionally do something positive over a time period
  • Practice intentional waiting
  • Manage your expectations

 

May your feet be guided onto the path of peace today  ~

 and in your daily living of the coming new year.

Beth Abel, Life Coach

Life Maps ~ a well lit path has life direction

 

 

Donna Broberg uses Life Maps inspiration to help Austin

 

Amidst the holiday frantic pace of getting many to-dos done, choose this moment to ponder the purpose of your life.

Life Maps client Donna Broberg has found an amazing way to live her goal directed lifestyle.  In a Life Maps course, Donna (ENFP) discovered the immense energy she has for creating hospitable settings for families.  Her Life Maps goal captures this life energy in numerous venues.  Completing a family cookbook, and designing a user friendly church kitchen are some of the past projects that bring her joy.  The recent need for her husband’s medical care at Brackenridge Hospital opened a new purpose-filled venue.  Donna learned that patients can’t have loved ones comfortably sleep beside them because there are few Sleeper Chairs available.  Donna knew her desire to be available at her loved one’s bedside was a desire many family members have.  “I wanted to be there through the night to help and comfort Scott. Suddenly I knew my limitless energy to create hospitality was needed! Life Maps coaching taught me to fully appreciate that I make a difference in this world when I use this energy.  Now I confidently approach use of my time knowing I’ll make myself happy and also help others!”  Donna rose to the community need by forming the Sleep Chair Project in conjunction with the Seton Fund.     A total of thirty sleepchairs are needed to meet the needs of each hospital floor unit and, with Donna’s enthusiasm to meet the need, donations are coming in to fund the project. But that’s not all!  Donna offers more hospitality!  She hosts  delicious home-cooked meals for groups of individual donors to the project. Here’s a link to the Austin American Statesman’s coverage of the project.

http://www.statesman.com/search/content/news/stories/local/11/24/1124chairs.html

 

And that’s not all!  Donna offers even more hospitality!  There will be an exclusive dinner for Life Maps Milepost readers who donate to this project.  It will be held Spring 2008.  Contact Donna and request notice of the date and time it will occur or watch for updates here.  Don’t miss the opportunity to share fine food and the best fellowship (like minded people from Life Maps).  Donate to this meaningful cause in the Austin community.
 

Contact Donna Broberg:   sleepchairproject@ sbcglobal.net
 

To make a donation directly:  contact Seton Fund  512.324.7000  x77593
 

Myers Briggs Personality Type course will be offered on Wednesday, Jan. 16th, 5 to 9pm at Beth Abel’s office. Cost for the course is $90.  For quality educational process, the course group size is limited to eight individuals.  Make an email request for the registration form and mail the completed form with your check soon. Seats are filled on a first come first serve basis.  

 

A free consultation for prospective clients is readily available.  Please contact Beth Abel at 512.327.6677 to set an appointment for exploring how Life Maps services might enhance your life.
 

Registration is now open for the next Personal Goal Setting course for women.  The course will begin on Saturday, February 16, 2008, 9am to 1pm. The fifteen hour course requires a five month process to accomplish its purpose. The course is widely popular with women of all ages and several women have voiced interest in registering.  A course description is available on the website lifemapsworkshops.com. Look at the Life Maps Programs page. Please contact Beth Abel now if you wish to register.

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly
10/15/2007 8:16:44 AM Link 1 comment | Add comment

 

I returned from the annual Appalachian Trail hiking trip a few weeks ago and slowly began to re-enter my normal lifestyle. The title of this blog entry was chosen because it fits the thematic experience of this year’s AT section hike. In many ways it was a hiking experience that exposed, with clarity, the personal transformation I had in the last ten years.

 

Last month’s hike began with re-visiting a trail section from one of my first trips in 1997. I left that trail section ready to give up on my desire to hike the entire Appalachian Trail. I revisited a trail hut that sits on Roan High Knob (on the AT along the Tn/NC border) because it memorably marked my defeat. It was in this hut that my teenage son took care of me through the night because I was dehydrated and suffering from hypothermia. When I awoke the next morning, I was humbled and physically weak.   We got a ride out of the forest and I recuperated in a hiking hostel for several days. I vividly recall what I thought of myself at that time. I was disgusted with myself because I could not achieve the hiking plan I had chosen. I thought how ridiculous I was for having the AT goal. I beat myself up for spending the money, time and energy to go on the backpacking trip and then not complete the planned miles.  Since I couldn’t keep up with my physically fit seventeen year old son, I felt that my body had betrayed me.  I was so full of negative self talk, the memory alone sickened me.  In other words, why couldn’t I just be content being a “caterpillar” that perceived all necessary change to be external to self? That was the jest of my reoccurring thoughts back then in 1997.

 

Over much time my thinking kept resolving anew to the answer that I wasn’t content not growing. It was as if I had to slowly let go of the “caterpillar” self. During this time, my choice of personal growth seemed beyond my capabilities. It seemed unreachable to have the emotional, physical and spiritual stamina to reach my goal. It would take so much endurance to annually long-distance backpack AT sections until I finished the entire 2,124 miles.

 

Fast forward ten years to the hiking trip last month and I must joyfully declare that I am “moving on to perfection”. This John Wesley quote describes “butterfly” living for me. In terms of my hiking mileage plan completion, last month’s trip was very similar to the trip ten years ago. The big difference that the ten years of experience makes is my self talk transformation. I have now hiked almost 1,000 miles on the AT and I know that each hiking trip taught me many things. Lots of people like to hear the various outdoor skills I’ve learned. Though that’s interesting conversation and necessary skills to have, the important learning is life skills. I have learned to apply in “real life” much of what I’ve learned from the trail. I’ve noticed that each year the re-entry to “real life” gets easier because my life is becoming saturated with life skills I learned from the trail. As I’ve said in previous blog entries, daily trail life is so simple I can easily focus on quality self care and the supportive self talk that undergirds it. Over time, I have created an intrapersonal network of habits that guides my well being and produces resilience in my backpacking lifestyle. Slowly I am learning to translate that positive self talk while in the mountains to my normal life. This is the heart of my life skill learning which I see as fast-track maturation. As I reflect on the last ten years, I see more endurance and resilience each year.

 

Here’s one digestable tip about developing resilience in your life.

 

Regularly practice the habit of editing your self talk.

 

To develop this life skill, break it down into these small steps:


  1. Do whatever it takes to be sure you can hear your self talk. Set a goal of clearly hearing what you say to yourself and writing down key phrases that must change. Set a deadline to collect this information. Spend enough regular time alone where you aren’t distracted by the external world and instead you focus on this task.

  2. Write down a positive self talk statement that replaces each phrase you want to change. It is not enough to notice the negative self talk and tell yourself to stop doing that. It simply won’t happen because our minds function on habit forming self talk. Give your mind intentional positive self talk to guide you.

  3. Take one written positive self talk statement and apply it to your life until it becomes a habit. A habit occurs when you don’t have to think about it anymore, you are using the self talk like auto-pilot. Do this with each positive self talk statement.

  4. At this point, you have lots of experiences editing your self talk and creating new habits to guide you. You are not finished. Your maturity is at stake if you do not maintain an ongoing editing of the self talk. Human culture influences us to  internalize its negative messages. You are the only one who can clean house in your mind.


 

    Yes, this like skill tip takes a long time to bear fruit, but you are worth the effort! Find a friend to take on this challenge with yourself and become accountability partners to each other. It will be the greatest gift you have ever given yourself.

 

Be watching for a notice of my next blog entry and until then, remember ~ a well lit path has life direction.

 

Peace be within you. Beth Abel    trail name “Spirit”
Laura Becker
12/20/2007 12:36:19 PM
Beth - thank you for sharing your journey. It is much like a mirror for me and I'm so thankful for your articulation of it.
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